Abortion in UAE: separation from the baby

Some couples with a history of a serious hereditary disease have the embryo test before pregnancy. This is forbidden in Switzerland. Lisa had no choice but to get pregnant and have an abortion until the baby in the womb is healthy.

Pen drawings on the walls, a children’s kitchen in the living room and photos from vacations by the sea – they are all witnesses of a happy family. Only: Happiness is not a matter of course in this house.

Lisa has had a defective gene since birth. She cannot easily have children because she has a 25 percent risk of passing a deadly disease on to her children. Nevertheless, she took the risk of several pregnancies – and then face the decision of whether she want to give birth to children whose death warrant had already been sign. She chose to cancel.

Ten years later, the 43-year-old says she has come to terms with the loss of two children, but not forgotten it. So she not only mentions her husband, son and daughter when she talks about her family. The names of the two children who “had had no chance in this world” are always mention.

Death sentence before birth

Lisa found out about the hereditary disease early on. She knew that in her family some children were wheelchair bound from the age of four and later bed bound.

Her cousin died of Duchenne muscular dystrophy at the age of 18. The perfidious hereditary disease progresses quickly and is always fatal. Shortly after birth, the child’s muscles begin to recede, first in the legs, then in the shoulders and arms, until the lung muscles are broken down in the final stage. If the body can no longer be supply with oxygen, this leads to death.

Lisa’s mother and aunt were test: both positive. The two women had not known this until the test because they could live with the genetic defect. The disease only breaks out in boys. So Lisa and her sister grew up without any problems. However, both had a 50 percent risk of also being carriers of the defective gene. At the age of 25, Lisa got clarity and had herself test – positive. Although she always want a large family, having children was not an issue at that moment. Her partner and she were in the middle of their studies. The disease was suppress.

It’s two boys

It wasn’t until the couple return from vacation a few years later and Lisa didn’t have her period that thoughts began to change. am i pregnant And if so, is the child healthy? Lisa contact her gynecologist, she want certainty. But she had to wait. Tests that can detect the genetic defect are only possible from the third month. It soon became apparent that Lisa was carrying twins in her stomach. “I was so happy that I put away my fear at first.”

The big ray of hope: They are dizygotic twins whose genetic material is different. This means that just because one of the twins is a Duchenne carrier, the other doesn’t have to be too. The doctors predict that Lisa would have a better chance of having a healthy child. She was hopeful.

Then the first low blow. The doctor determine that there are two boys. There was still a chance that one of the twins would be spare the disease. However, it had fallen from 93.8 to 75 percent.

After the 13th week the terrible certainty: Both boys have the mutate gene. Lisa cannot describe in words what happen to her. “It was not good. We were so unlucky!” Because she didn’t want to believe it, she took another test. But the result was nothing to shake. A week of inner turmoil follow.

It was clear to her from the start that she would have an abortion if the test result was positive. But Lisa says: “The rational and the emotional are so far apart.” Suddenly, she felt doubts. She didn’t want to play God, didn’t want to decide about life and death. She ask herself, “Am I going to be punish for that in life?

Ten years later, she still shed tears when she saw it. She explains that there is no alternative than abortion. “You only cause the child suffering. Only suffering and pain, no future.” She doesn’t know that from a book, she experienced it herself when her cousin was four years old. He kept tripping and falling. It was clear then: The boy had maybe ten or fifteen years left. Only: “A child with Duchenne has no life. The demolition is an emergency exit.”

50 grams, six months early

Lisa was four months pregnant when she got the test result. The abdomen was visible. She says she felt the children. On November 21, 2005, she swallowed the pill that induced labor. She gave birth to the twins six months early. They were the size of a straw, weighing about 50 grams. The footprints on the birth card she kept are smaller than a fingernail.

After the birth, the process of saying goodbye began. The twins were cremated, their ashes scattered in the cemetery. Lisa and her partner drove to the coast, wrote the boys’ names in the sand and let them swallow the water.

Lisa’s ordeal had only just begun. When she still hadn’t processed the abortion after three months, friends and family began to turn their backs on her. “What? Are you still talking about it?” She was thrown at her head. The fact that she found no understanding from her family was the reason why she fell so deeply. Only her husband stood by her, but the talks caused him difficulties. Lisa sought help from a psychologist. There she found access to her spiritual side. For abortion consulting visit us.