Confident, assertive and able to work in a team – this is how parents want their children to be. Here are the twelve best strategies to help your children develop these qualities too.
“Nobody can convey self-esteem better than parents”
Imagine if it were in your power to give your child an important quality that enables them to lead a meaningful, happy, successful life. Which would it be?
Self-confidence, say experts: Nothing strengthens a child more than the knowledge: “I am wonderful. Nobody is like me.” And no one can convey this feeling better than parents.
In order to assess themselves, children must first compare their knowledge and skills, their possessions and their appearance with others. The first twelve years are all about who is braver, smarter, and stronger and, above all. Children observe exactly what others tell them: “You are capable, clever, and hard-working.” Or: “You are stupid.”
Only with the onset of puberty do you gradually come to your own, realistic assessment of strengths and weaknesses. And the more precise, factual, and confident this is, the better you can cope with crises and challenges as teenagers.
We have gathered important research so that you can help your child develop good self-esteem and grow into a responsible, courageous, resilient and lovable personality.
Strategy 1: Strong parents have strong children
According to a study by the University of California, parents of children with high self-esteem show their offspring several evidences of affection and appreciation every day. They treat their children democratically, listen to their opinions and take them seriously. At the same time, they are less lenient, more consistent, and clearer about their expectations. A loving and strict upbringing, according to the scientists, is best for children.
Strategy 2: Confident through grandma and grandpa
It is well known that grandchildren increase grandparent’s self-esteem. What is less well known is that regular contact with grandparents or other elderly people can help children and adolescents find their way around better.
Social psychologists suspect that the fundamentally positive attitude towards the grandchildren is the reason for this: Grandparents listen patiently and respect the grandchildren’s views, even if they do not necessarily share them. The grandchildren, on the other hand, are open to other outlooks on life and values, are able to represent their own positions earlier, and move more confidently in the adult world.
Strategy 3: Selflessness gives confidence
Children whose parents remain optimistic despite the many problems in this world and who work to ensure that it becomes a better place are more courageous and confident, sick less often and later more successful than children of pessimistic parents. Finnish social scientists have found that out. Its good when (voluntary) commitment is part of family life.
Strategy 4: Animals bring balance
Responsibility for animals strengthens self-confidence, especially in phases of great emotional stress. Research shows that regular contact with animals makes them cooperative, open-minded, and less aggressive. An own pet, however, must not be: Farm holidays, visits to the zoo or Doggy Sitting have the same effects. Or just provide them animal affirmation cards deck having multiple cards with animal pictures and habits with a great sentence. Children can play with these cards and also learn animal habits. They try to adopt any say like they read about the animal. Like some examples are
I am playful like the dolphin.
I am self-reliant like the crocodile.
I am helpful like the horse.
I am courageous like the lion.
I am independent like the tiger.
I am nurturing like the penguin.
I am resilient like the lizard………..
Strategy 5: With your own head up
American psychologists have discovered that inappropriate behavior is often associated with great intelligence and creativity. Children who stand out for their strange behavior and unusual language are significantly more creative than “normal” children – and later more successful. Scientists suspect that they use their right component more intensively. Who at times with an outsider position having to finish is also more self-sufficient and mentally more stable? This is especially true for girls in puberty. When examining the lives of successful women, it was found that they were rarely the star in the society. To compensate, they looked for niches where they could be themselves in peace. They read a lot or moved in groups in which interests such as sports, art, and music were in the foreground. So your child can have a few rough edges – and keep them.
Strategy 6: A mentor helps through crises
Children are more resilient, resilient and capable of learning if at least one person in their environment firmly believes in them and their abilities. Then they even cope with major challenges and severe crises. If, on the other hand, one concentrates on mistakes and difficulties, it is difficult for children to develop successful, i.e. sustainable, learning strategies and their achievements often remain below their potential.
The loss of competence is always preceded by a loss of trust. Developmental psychologists and neuroscientists recommend three things:
1. Formulate criticism positively and concentrate on what a child can already do.
2. Approach difficult tasks in small, manageable steps.
3. Analyze successes. In this way, children get a feel for their performance and for suitable learning strategies.
Strategy 7: Personal responsibility promotes competence
The strongest motivation to learn for children is autonomy. The question is not ‘How do I motivate my child?’ But: ‘How can I create circumstances and situations in which my child can act out their innate urge to take things into their own hands in order to motivate themselves? ‘”
We recommend supporting self-determined action from an early age. “It’s best to explain why a task is important and then allow the greatest possible freedom in choosing the means. When the child asks for help, you give the smallest suggestion they need to become active themselves.”
Strategy 8: Renunciation encourages
Children develop more imagination, discuss more together and find better solutions to problems when they have to get by without standardized toys at times and look around for suitable objects to play, build, and explore themselves. Toy-free times primarily raise awareness of one’s own play and employment needs.
American educationalists come to a similar conclusion. Well-dosed deficiency situations, especially when it comes to consumer goods, encourage unusual thinking and prevent children from always having to swim with the crowd. This includes: not getting something that everyone has, or not being allowed to do something that others are allowed to do. A simple “no” is not enough, however. Parents have to explain why they reject something: Because it’s sexually provocative, violent, plastic, cheesy, expensive, or of no real use. Children can only assert themselves among their peers if they know what to do.
Strategy 9: Together we are strong
Children who participate in public life are more confident, more productive and better able to weather the storms of puberty. There are many ways to raise awareness of socio-political or ecological issues at an early stage. You can write e-mails to members of parliament if the swimming pool is to fall victim to austerity measures, or you can set up a “save the toad club”. Such activities connect with others and help children find their own voice and learn how to raise it.
Strategy 10: A deeper voice for more security
With a beeping voice you not only give others the impression that you are incompetent and that you do not take yourself seriously. Speech therapists and speech educators know that children gain confidence and security simply by speaking a little deeper. They recommend playful, creative speech design, for example imitating noises and animal voices, practicing tongue twisters or creating word chains.
Strategy 11: Values show character
Children who grow up with ethical or religious values and beliefs and experience that their parents stand by them develop a high ethical self-ideal at an early age. They are able to see the world through another person’s eyes and think differently about right and wrong.
The first ten years of life are all about fairness and justice. Give in because he’s your friend.’ Often praise human warmth, compassion, and generosity. This is how children learn that life is not about everyone getting the same thing, but rather that everyone gets what they really need. “
Strategy 12: Those who have an influence feel important
Many studies show that people who feel “unimportant” are responsible for violent and unsocial acts. The feeling of being powerless and of no influence has a devastating effect on the personality. Make your child feel that they are leaving a mark and that their presence will make the world more beautiful, richer and more exciting.