Keys to know if your partner is a chronic liar: What characterizes a chronic liar? What are his most common strategies so that no one catches them? What consequences can a couple that manifests this tendency have? In this article, we tell you.
We all lie. To our friends, parents, partners, and, of course, strangers. But telling a lie once in a while is different from always telling a lie. Thus, this article will give you some keys to knowing if your partner is a chronic liar.
Someone who lies constantly is capable of creating a whole fictitious life before others. In addition, they do it in a particular way, so it can be difficult to discover the deception. However, with the recommendations we will share, it will probably be easier for you.
What are chronic liars like?
A chronic liar is a person who continually deceives the people around them. For example, in the famous Elite series, the character of Cayetana shows the typical behavior of a chronic liar. During several chapters, she makes her classmates believe she is a wealthy girl with a great life. She even manages to get the money until they finally discover her.
Something similar is what Roos and Jones (2022) describe in an article on the deception theory of mimicry. According to their work, the behavior of the chronic liar is made up of four fundamental dimensions. Knowing them can be key to knowing if your partner is a chronic liar.
The lies of chronic liars are often well crafted to get what they want.
1. Integration with the environment
For people to believe what you say, you first need to gain their trust. They do take care of you, and always share good morning images, and good night images, This is something that chronic liars know, and it is a marked trait in their nature.
They are very clear that at the beginning, they must be transparent to gain the trust of others. This way, it will be easier to deceive them and more difficult to arouse suspicion.
2. Elaborate hoax
Another outstanding feature is that his lies are well crafted. If we return to the example of Cayetana, she not only said that her family was wealthy. She also had an Instagram account with photos of her in a huge house (where she just worked). Also, she wore brand-name clothes, even though she had no money to pay for them.
So we see that chronic liars don’t tell simple lies, but their deceptions are elaborate. They approach every aspect of their lie carefully, making it more difficult for others to discover.
3. Obtaining benefits
On the other hand, to know if your partner is a chronic liar, look at the benefits they get from you or others. Chronic liars take advantage of others, using them to achieve a goal.
In Elite, Cayetana used to say things like her card was “worn out from buying so much” so that her friends would pay for it.
The last dimension refers to all the measures the liar takes to avoid being discovered. Someone may notice some inconsistency in his story and question it. Faced with this situation, it is most likely that he will create a new lie to cover up his mistake.
How to know if your partner is a chronic liar
What you saw before are particular traits in the behavior of chronic liars. If you suspect your partner is, it is useful to observe if he exhibits this behavior. Apart from that, some techniques help you expose the weak points of their stories.
It is important to note that these are not foolproof tricks to detect lies. However, they serve to observe if there is any suspicious attitude that could indicate deception.
1. Use surprise to your advantage.
Chronic liars are used to people believing the things they say without much question. Because their lies are complex and they have earned trust, they seem very comfortable telling stories. However, cheating requires a certain degree of mental energy, and we can “surprise” them by overloading their brain.
Blandón-Gitlin et al. (2014) published a study on cognitive load in lie detection. To overload the liar’s mind, techniques such as asking questions that are confusing and unexpected can be used. For example, if they are talking about a supposed trip to Europe, you can ask something about his family and surprise him.
Another way to tell if your partner is a chronic liar is to ask them to recount an event back in time. In this way, we will ensure that your cognitive load is greater and you lose the confidence you feel when telling already prepared lies.
2. Open questions
Open questions are a good resource for detecting lies because they force people to expand their stories. Instead of asking her about something specific from her past, you could ask her to tell you about her childhood. If you lie, you will be forced to make up information on the spot and may feel nervous.
3. Pay attention to details.
In every story, there are small details that can be checked for inconsistencies. For example, he may inadvertently tell you that he went to the beach in a season when there were heavy storms. However, it is recommended to let him continue building the story instead of correcting him. Thus, you will have the opportunity to detect more inconsistencies.
The stories chronic liars tell often have sloppy details and inconsistent details.
4. Watch your confidence when speaking.
Direct confrontation is not recommended if a partner is suspected of being a chronic liar. Ideally, you should set the mood for a casual conversation and use the above techniques to get her out of her comfort zone. As you do this, you may notice that she becomes less confident, or even evasive, when responding to you.
In fact, you might want to end the conversation by saying you feel bad or uncomfortable. That may mean that she feels overwhelmed and is unable to prolong her lies or share new ones.
To close, as we mentioned before, these are not infallible tricks to discover the deception. Rather, it is a set of techniques that can give us insight into someone’s dishonesty.
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